Before you mock at anyone, mind the emotional, social damage
This decent learner was emotionally bashed by a gang of five miscreants. Unfortunately, that hurts more than the physical wounds would do. It implied that the silent was overwhelmed by the feeling of guilt. Especially, when one of the guys among them could see it and point it out.
Following the same routine, on a fine day, a bunch of employees came out for a smoke as they always do after spending an hour or two in front of their office computers. They settled in one of the cars parked there, and lighted cigarettes respective to their choice of brands, which is mostly chosen in accordance with what their pockets allowed. They chatted, made fun of their boss like everyday, then the girls in the adjoining offices in the same building, some office politics stuff and so on. What anyone can expect from bachelor guys, all of them below 30 in age. At moments, girls will pass from the narrow space between two opposite rows of parked cars and bikes. That moment, there is no chance anything else mattered as a subject of conversation.
Just then, a shining white Hyundai i10 drove into the parking lot. The guy at the driver seat was the only one inside. His eyes scanned for some space to park the car. There wasn’t any scope for more vehicles but just one spot, sufficient to park his car. As his eyes spotted it, he initiated the process required to park a car in a small parking lot meant for not more than 20-25 small cars, and a little space for repositioning the car.
But, he spent next 20 minus trying that without any success. His silly sense of ‘how to park a car’ entertained the smoker group. He was total driving disaster, not even a fine driver. With puffs of smoke, the atmosphere inside the other car was all laughing and mocking. Three of them knew how to drive and had been driving for months. We can say new comers on the road. The rest two had just completed the driving classes. So, the faults interested them more than any other aspect and they got easily indulged in that moment. Actually, the space was good enough to reposition it and park a car of that size in 5-6 forward and backward moves. “Why these guys buy expensive cars when they can’t even drive them?” said one of the smoker guys. One other claimed he could have done it in just half a minute. Third one added, “Is this guy a retard? He has wasted an extra litter of fuel and still struggling”. Also, some expert comments suggested, hinted what the driver should have done to park it correctly.
Seriously, a good, experienced driver would have parked a sedan in just 3 moves max, but that loser couldn’t do it in 20 minutes. He could see the laughing faces inside the other car, and it did embarrass him. All five of them enjoyed every bit of his stupid driving skills and sense of judgment. But, there was one guy, who had stopped mocking and was rather seemed to have noticed something that stood in contrast to what made the subject of humor. Of course, in a small Alto car packed with 5 people, the odd one was noticeable easily by the rest. What happened to you? Why you are sitting like a mute?” What bothered them was that how come suddenly he sat so seriously silent while a couple of minutes ago he too was having fun with the situation.
“I just notice the ‘L’ sign on the back of the car, may be, he lacked someone to aid him park the car. It happens with learners. But see, the car is parked perfectly in accordance with the space that the yellow lines on the ground allowed. ”
Meanwhile, the poor guy somehow fits the car perfectly in the available space at last. But, that took him almost 20 minutes, and still he took couple of extra minutes to check if it’s parked well or not.
Then, they noticed the car was brand new. The temporary number plate, shining white beauty, and the plastic covers on seats, new tires behind the dust on them, and the fresh color of the ‘Swastik’ mark on the bonnet confirmed that the car is just out from the showroom recently. As a matter of fact, the guy had joined recently in the adjoining office and it was the first day he was seen with a car.
There was a pin drop silence for a couple of seconds, and then suddenly, the topic of conversation jumped over to altogether different subject. “We might be going upstairs. It’s been a while.”
That silence of few seconds was the result of conflict between their egos and some compassionate chamber of their brains. This silence confirmed the embarrassment everyone felt of being average Indian onlookers, who mocked a guy when he actually needed a little assistance as he was a learner. Also, that none of them even notice the ‘L’ sign, and even the memories of the time when they were themselves under learning process of learning to drive.
The distinction between the odd guy and rest of them was that of perspective. His perspective was somewhat empathetic or say compassionate, while for all others the perspective was the extremity of imperfection for an owner of Hyundai i10.
Their mockery did not help, but it did distracted the already struggling man as he felt embarrassed for being a subject of humor and entertainment for others. It did make him nervous. He could have left his car idiotically parked, but here, ethically, he made sure that car occupy the instructed space, so that he doesn’t cause inconvenience to other people who shared the space.
But, this decent learner was emotionally bashed by a gang of five miscreants. Unfortunately, that hurts more than the physical wounds would do. It implied that silent was overwhelmed by the feeling of guilt. Especially, when one of the guys among them could see it and point it out.
They might or might not have noticed the L sign, but every other fact was the same as it appeared to the odd man, but still, the perspective was a complete contrast to compassion. Why the perspectives differed so much in these two cases when everyone is served the same facts confirmed with the exact visuals?
As it appears from a distance is that both perspectives were there, inside the head of everyone. One of the perspectives was woven by ego, the pleasing colors of which shrouded, rejected the one woven by the unbiased mind. Being new drivers themselves, having recently bought a car, their own imperfection and their own moments of embarrassment they faced because of silly mistakes they made while learning were fresh. Their ego could not yet claim the expertise they had seen in ‘Fast & Furious’ or that of Jason Statham in ‘Transporter’. They sat in an Alto while a new i10 moves backwards-forward in front of them. The ego could hardly stand that sense of being a loser, not being capable of buying more than just a small car. The mockery and laughter were one of those compensatory revenges which they do not forget to take when the opportunity arise.
However, what slapped their mocking faces was the fact that no one actually even thought of getting out of the car to assist the guy using the same expertise they claimed while enjoying the show. If that had happened, the guy at the learning side would have received a very positive feedback, encouraging him to be helpful, not the wounded man craving for opportunities to compensate for the embarrassment his ego brought to him. Moreover, the feeling of being able to help someone is unmatchable, not even near the pleasant revenge of ego. The time spent in helping others is time well spent.
Don’t think it doesn’t cause any harm to the receiver, the one who was mocked at when he didn’t quite deserve it. It wounds his ego for being a subject of humor. His ego will definitely try to make up for it, perhaps, he’ll continue the chain. That’s the way society or any community behaves. People exchange what they already have, and here, in India, we have lot of insecurities, hate, and ignorance.
The ego reins our collective consciousness of our present social structure. Mind it every time you mock at anyone. It might cause him and the society in which he lives in an emotional damage. We need to stop preaching hate.
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